Thursday, June 2, 2011

year 2000, february 16th.

i always get jealous when i saw sisters having fun together.
i thought, how lucky, to have a sister. as in, sister literally, in a family.
i saw them laughing and having so much fun, exchanging clothes, sharing room, sharing everything.

but i am stupid. i have a sister.

but she had gone, for good. back when i was 5 years old. i barely remember her. STUPID ME.
i do i do i doo have a sister! how can i be so stupid, i even barely remember that I HAVE a sister!!!
what did i jealous to?

her name is fathya. and i remember one thing about her, she had already been pretty, even though she was still a baby.

oh fathya, i'm so sorry to barely forget you:( what kind of sister am i?
but you need to know, i still love you girl, with all my heart. and i always am.
oh. this is hard.

it was night. i remember i was playing in my gramma's room with my cousin when suddenly my mom came to the room and she came to me, she was burst in tears.
she was never been so much sad.
i was so confused, she told me that you're gone.
i knew i was 5 at that time, i didn't really know what's the meaning of death.
and i ran to our room, the room was crowded than ever.
then i saw something's pretty, the prettiest baby i've ever seen, just laid in the bed.
that was you.
then everything was became so blurry, i didn't remember the rest.
until, the next day.
my gramma's house became so crowded.
i believe my dad was crying.
people were doing solat for you, my dad was the imam.
then he took you somewhere, i didn't know where.
then he came back.
but not with you.

sooner i knew that you were really am gone, gone for good.
oh fathya, i'm such a bad sister to you. i knew i have a sister but i barely remember you.

16th february 2000 is your born day. that's making us, kids of maulana special cause we're all februarians:)

Allah love you so much so He called you, faster.
for me it was too fast, but i knew He know the best for you.
i really love you fathya i always will. and i will never, forget you.

cause you're gonna be, always gonna be, my little sister that i love with all my heart.

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