gomen.

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel."

i found that on tumblr.

i don't know what to say when i saw that quote. but i guess this way is better.

sometimes pretending is a lot easier.

a major change, and i was wrong.

"i love the spotlight so much, so i won't let it go that easy"

-Rachel Berry, Glee S2 : Audition.

gue tau gue yang salah. dan emang selalu gue yang cari masalah. gue minta maaf.

i was stupid for having that fear. but i just love myself too much. so i went so selfish.

you see, i'm really sorry.

but i think sorry won't change anything. unless i change myself.

i don't care if it would hurt me. though i've already fell.

i'll try to forget about everything that has been done in the past.

though everything i did is worthless.

i'm not being my self. it hurts. but if i do, it would hurt me even more.

and i don't care how many times i've said this, but i'm sorry. for everything i did in the past, and everything i'll do, in the future.

She and Him - In The Sun

this song says it all, it's alright, it's okay :)

i wore this mask for too long. but it seems like i just couldn't put off the mask. i could hardly remember who i really am. but it seems so far.

two girl, two years, and a 2 second boy.

so once upon a time ada anak namanya zhara. zhara has a best friend named reina. they both passionated with photography and art stuff. reina blessed with drawing skill and zara blessed with both drawings and photography skill.

di sekolah zhara terkenal banget dengan editan foto2nya yang keren sangat amat omg it's like professional's masterpiece. no doubt. but one day...

reina : "zhara you're such a blast! everyone talks about your photograph yet you're so famous!"

zhara : "oh no, it's not like that... i'm not...i'm an amateur"

reina: "yeah you're talkin that way but the truth isn't like that. you really are famous girl!"

bla bla bla mau reina bilang gimana juga zhara tetep gamau ngakuin kalo dia awesome :\ seems like a type of down to earth girl... maybee too down to earth hehe.

okaay moving on, reina adores almost all of zhara's masterpieces, and as her best friend, reina mau fotonya di editin sama zhara.

reina : "zhara! editin foto ku doong pleaseeee"

zhara : "no, i can't. i can't edit others' photo, only mine hehe sorry ya rein"

reina : "ahh sure you can! you're a pro"

zhara : "i really can't rein, once again, sorry"

reina sedih! tapi ya, dia maklumin zhara, okelah tak apa.

lalu, dua tahun kemudian, they grown up, and reina's drawings.... um let's say it's better than before but it's NOTHING comparing to zhara's now days photographs.

oh pleasee, reina bener2 pengen fotonya di editin sama zhara.

laluuuuuuuuuh one daay

zhara : "reina, i want to give ma a present... what should i buy?"

reina : "make your own scrap book for her!"

zhara : "i did..."

reina : "um... video? you go direct your own"

zhara : "i don't think soo... i want to buy something this time"

reina : "a bag? perhaps?"

zhara : "nah, she've got plenty of those"

reina : "okay, mamamu suka apa?"

zhara : "papaku....."

reina : "then go get your pa's photograph on a bag!"

zhara : "yeah, that's a good idea, though i know what ma really wants"

reina: "what's that?"

zhara: "my mom wants me to edit her photo"

reina: "then go for it? what r you waiting for girl?"

zhara : "you know mee, i can't edit other's but mine"

reina : "i see that, hm. let's think about other things then"

tralala trilili zhara pun mendapat ide lain untuk her mother... but one daaaaaaaaay

zhara: "REINAAA! guess what guess what just happened to me last nighttttt!!!!!"

reina: "hey chill out! what's up"

zhara: "it's craig!!! he greeted me on im!"

reina: "OMG REALLYYYYY???? OOHH WHAT DO YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUUT? TELL ME! OH GOSSSHH HOW LUCKY R UUUU"

zhara : "now you chill out rein hahahahaha i'm so exciteed! he asked me to edit TWO of his photos!"

reina : "you did?"

zhara : "LIKE YEAH! of course i did."

reina :"HOW COULD YOU DID THAT? you said you can't! lo bilang lo cuma bisa edit foto lo sendiri dan sekarang lo editin fotonya craig. TWO PHOTOS! HOW COME? you can't edit MINE, and your mother's! but you could did craig's!!!"

zhara : "well, he's the only exception"

reina : "..............................................................."

THE END

*yup, sangat romantis tapi zhara pilih kasih!!!! HUH LO TAU GA SIH GIMANA RASANYA LO MOHON MOHON 2 TAHUN LEBIH BIAR FOTO LO DIEDITIN DAN SEORANG COWO DATANG MEMOHON HANYA 2 DETIK LANGSUNG DIEDITIN? diangkat dari kisah nyata.... nama dan tempat disamarkan, beberapa plot di ubah dan di karang oleh pengarang but over all, ini kisah nyata!!*

Stuck in the moment -Justin Bieber

With you
With you
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place

Now Romeo & Juliet
Bet they never felt the way we felt
Bonnie & Clyde
Never had to hide like
We do
We do

You and I, both know it can't work
It's all fun and games
'Til someone gets hurt
And I don't,
I won't let that be you

Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
That there might be something real between us two
Who knew
Now we don't wanna fall but
We're trippin' in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
Cause I know you can't love me here

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you

See like Adam & Eve
Tragedy was a destiny
Like Sonny & Cher
I don't care
I got you baby

See we both
Fightin' every inch of our fibers
Cuz aint no way it's gonna end right but
We are both too foolish to stop

Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
That there might be something real between us two
Who knew
And we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
And I know you can't love me here

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
But fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you

See like
Just because this cold, cruel world say we can't be
Baby we both have the right to disagree
And I ain't with it
And I don't wanna be so old and gray
Reminiscing 'bout these better days
But convince just telling us to let go
So we'll never know

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Cause everything we did
And everything we have is stuck in the moment
Yeahhhh

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
(Oh no no)
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
(Nothing my heart can do)
To fight with time and space
(And space)
I'm still stuck in the moment with you

you, me, them, and the 10 miles road.

i've got tired and upset, and i'm trying to care a little less. and on google i only get depressed.

-eliza doolittle, pack up

simple, easy listening, but deeply meaningful.

so this week i've been struggling with many things. mostly with my self.

like usual, mind vs. heart -.- pretty cheesy eh?

omg. i know i will be facing the final examination of jhs but hey! never thought i'll face self-examination too!

ohhhh ya Allah make me stronger........... amiin

eliza doolittle -back to front

If I woke up in the mornin'
And the world was back to front
There was sunshine in the evenin'
And the moon came out for lunch

I wouldn't mind walkin' backwards with you
At least we'd always know where we'd be goin' to
We could talk till we forget how to talk

And we could learn to laugh again
Like when we were children
We could learn to dance again
Like nobody is watchin'

If everyone was gettin' young
There'd be a smile on your face
If all the friends that passed away
Came back to this place

We'd be puttin' down the daisies
Drinkin' milk and feelin' lazy
There's no sense in any senses
What's the use in independence?

We could play of the tears that came
We could walk till we forget how to walk
And cool till we forget anything at all

And we would laugh again
Like when we were children
We could learn to dance again
Like nobody is watchin'

We could learn to look right
Into each others eyes
'Cause we got nothin' to hide

We got nothin' but to laugh again
Like when we were children
Like when we were children

Back to front, front to back
Will you come backwards with me
Backwards with me?

Front to back, back to front
Will you come backwards with me
Backwards with me?

We could learn to laugh again
Like when we were children
We could learn to dance again
Like nobody is watchin'

We could learn to laugh again
Like when we were children
We could learn to smile again
Like nobody is watchin'

Backwards with me

ends up like this? again? blah.

do you know i always act happy just for you? do you know actually i'm crying?

do you know actually i'm screaming?

and i have to face it everyday.

gue kira miracle itu ada.

hah. ya, real mature dar.

sekarang gue mau muntah tiap gue inget waktu gue yang gue buang2 percuma selama hampir 3 taun. buat sesuatu yang gue tau gue gabakal dapet. pretty stupid ha.

lo tau cape?

gue lepasin semua yang udah gue dapet cuma buat nungguin itu. ha-ha-ha.

gue cape.

i read a quote that said

don't you waste your time on something that doesn't even worthed

well, i ignored that cause at that time, i was too blah that believed my life is a fairytale, miracle could happen, and bla bla what so ever.

but now i know that's absolutely true. ha-ha.

cheesy, more cheesy and getting even more cheesy.

when i visit a quote site, i found this quote

"i love that we can sit in silence together and know that silence is ok"

then i found another quote that said

"sometimes, when i don't say anything it's the time when i want to say something the most"

after that i watched IMB (indonesia mencari bakat) and the theme song was Akon's Beautiful, which the lyric was

"when i see you i run out of words"

theeeeen i watched JONAS series which Joe and Stella's dialogue were

Joe : i know that there's something between us

Stella : yeah...............

Those were happened these lately......

are those making jokes or what? -_-

sometimes, it hurts.

sometimes, it makes you smile.

right?

it's true that we can't do anything when it comes to the truth.

but it doesn't matter cause before rainbow, there's rain.

and it proves that what ever the truth is, we could still taste the sweets.

and truth, we can't change it. we can only hope. and best of all,

we could take lesson learns from it.

(and those for you too, amber! don't be sad!:D)

if you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go for whatever makes you happy.

unlesss, you want everybody happy except you.

source

i love you. with all my heart ♥

I Miss You -Miley Cyrus

You used to call me your angel

Said I was sent straight down from heaven

And you'd hold me close in your arms

I thought of the way you felt so strong

I never wanted you to leave

I wanted you to stay here holdin' me

I miss you, I miss your smile

And I still shed a tear every once in a while

And even though it's different now

You're still here somehow

My heart won't let you go

And I need you to know

I miss you, sha la la la la

I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer

And now I'm livin' out my dream

Oh, how I wish you could see

Everything that's happenin' for me

I'm thinkin' back on the past

It's true the time is flyin' by too fast

I miss you, I miss your smile

And I still shed a tear every once in a while

And even though it's different now

You're still here somehow

My heart won't let you go

And I need you to know

I miss you, sha la la la la

I miss you

I know you're in a better place yeah

But I wish that I could see your face, oh

I know you're where you need to be

Even though it's not here with me

I miss you, I miss your smile

And I still shed a tear every once in a while

And even though it's different now

You're still here somehow

My heart won't let you go

And I need you to know

I miss you, sha la la la la

I miss you, I miss your smile

And I still shed a tear every once in a while

And even though it's different now

You're still here somehow

My heart won't let you go

And I need you to know

I miss you, sha la la la la

I miss you

I really do, miss you Abah, but i know you are in a whole better place right now. pray the best for ya. I'm your biggest fan! :*

hello there

source

I've been making lots of plans

Like a picket fence and a rose garden

I'll just keep on dreaming

But it's cool cause we're just friends.

-JoBros, Just Friends

and the story begins...

i feel the feel.

:)

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