yes, i'm not perfect. are you happy now?

people change. i know. but i don't know that it would happen this fast.

so fast that made me

disoriented, where am i? specifically, who am i?

i dreamed too much. i expect too much.

now here i am, left.

i'm here, in the

corner watching everything goes by.

don't you realize i'm

watching? i know what happen.

people dream to be an 'insta-star' cause it would gave you the 'insta-fame' and 'insta-high social class' right? and you'll be so famous, people cares, people are always behind your back (whatever it really means-_-) and those 'reputation' thingy. it's like, instant fabulousity, isn't it?

but, i don't know bout you.

i hate to have this cheesy feeling but, gosh.

have you ever hear the word "pretending"?

well i have, and i do it. like for 3 years.

my friends told me to let this go. i know i've tried. but don't you realize? i'm still holding on to it. at least until now. i hope i could let this go, easy-peasy.

i thought i was right.

and i hope you'll be happy now.

and so, i'll find my own way to be happy :)

mutualism pretty much?

Poor castle :(

just watched castle 2 : overkill... UGHHH I'm sorry for you castleee!!

yeah! that demming is... you and kate had been working together like more than 1 year and suddenly, this guy demming came... and... BUM!

haha, i'm over this serial or what?

it's just, that scene... it seems... familiar.

gaah, never mind.

and hey! i drew a girl in tutu and she has this massive wings which has 3 diamonds, each!

i'm pretty proud with that drawing. i don't know why. hahaha

oh, btw, i guess i was OVER loud today at class. idk why did that happen too..

i'm like, very sorry.

i don't know why but sometimes, i did things, but those were actually... not me.

i was shocked i did such thing.

who am i?

HEY! THANKIES FRESHMAN!

gaah! you must see my try outs result. they are total ICKs!!!

ah! i feel silly! and i tried to re-done it, guess what, i can! but i was just unfocus so, ah!

no more easy on the tryouts!! yeah! imma be awesome!

and btw. the class' jackets are already comeeeeeeeee yeaaaaaaaaaaah!

i feel like nikki (from the dork diaries) pretty much. she's the outsider, and she's... well, she's not popular, she CAN'T LIVE A DAY WITHOUT DRAWING (yak yak!) she had a crush on a boy who wouldn't realize (and btw, their story is just like mine. as in, literally:p) and she's... just tryna be posh.

i would take no notice if someone keep telling me what to do or whatsit.

don't read if you haven't realize.

do you even know how it feels to be pretending all the times? and when you get your mask off, people keep telling you what to do and make a snap judgement? well, i guess you know. but if you don't, pity you.

and do you even realize every time i put on that smile, doesn't mean that it's okay with me, it sometimes mean that i really can't take it.

if i couldn't stand something, i probably just let it out, let the world know that i can't stand it.

but there are few things that i can't let the emotion out, and that's because of us.

don't you get me wrong, i'm not all the cheesy thought you may guess, but it's just,

i'm tired of losing best friends. almost 3 years ago i did. i lost 2 best friends.

and that because of my silly tattle tales. but i had enough. 2 are over whelming. how can i lose another and another?

well, we're not best friends, yet. we're so close, but in a very far way.

i don't know why but our silence make it all understood.

i really am, adore you as my friend, and i want to take you to be just a friend, not more, but that's it.

you know, around us, there are so many distractions and i believe we're still in our own ways.

but i don't want to lose you as my friend.

please don't get me wrong.

you probably don't read my blog, but i don't know what else could i do, to explain this.

it's just that, what ever people say about us, please, don't listen to them.

and please don't get me wrong.

they didn't understand.

you think this is odd enough? you're wrong. it's ultra odd.

gosh. there's a girl around me and she's ultra odd. do you know why?

she kept telling her self she would change, would control her emotion and stuff, but did she? no she didn't. those are just jabber-jabbers.

she thought she's posh enough. and the truth is, she's just a wanna be. she's not all that posh.

she thought she's brilliant and bright. hahah, well, it's just what she thought. there's another girl that more more brighter than her. waaaay more brighter. but she just won't admit cause she thought she's so perfect. well get real missy!

hah, and she likes a boy, she thought the boy is so amazing, well maybe, but she just won't admit that the boy isn't hers and ohhh she got it all cheesy peasy by talking about this boy, non-stop like it's sooo over whelming.

and so, she's a type that really over reacted, over think, over over over. she's so waay odd.

she can't control her face. she made those silly faces and thought that her drama is cool but HAH doesn't she get it that all the drama she've made are sooo over rated. silly dramas.

oh wait! she's me.

glorious feeling!

this pict is taken on march 19th. one of the oddest day. hahaha, but still, it was a very lovely day spending all day long with my glorious nine glory :)

this class make me feel that i really am part of it.

this 2010/2011 class is the class that make me don't want to go home fast. hahaha

this class is the class that make me cry, cry of joy and this class is the class that make my stomach shaking everyday cause everyone in this class is class clown ahahah!

and today we were having a surprise partaaay for our beloved teacher mrs.yay!! hehehe my class is freakin awesome!!!